Thursday, August 21, 2008

new clothes can do wonders

My grandfather believes his health can be restored by wearing a polar bear suit. He told my dad that his mother (my grandfather's mother) had been brought back to life when the people at his assisted living center put a polar bear suit on her, and that now she is living down the hall. He said his finally came in the mail, and that he wore it, but the woman who cleans his room took it and mailed it back. He said he went downstairs to get it, but they had already mailed it. He thinks I moved to New York to work on a reality TV show about transvestites. When my dad went to go see him, Stagg (my grandfather) informed him that he kept watching Channel 9, but he hasn't seen the show again. Stagg also told my aunt that he has a new wife named Sunshine. While this is disturbing, we cannot help but laugh, since when Stagg was sane, he ideas were still really out there. Like he believes that the anglo saxons are the lost tribes of Israel, the tribes of Ephraim and Manasseh. Basically this leads to a lot of racist commentary not worth repeating. He also purchased several new cars. At last count before he went into assisted living, I think there were 28 cars. He would park some of them at this special parking lot at the dealership, and once he couldn't find one of his trucks. The batteries would run down if they weren't driven, and I think this also effected the car alarms. On our birthdays, or any family gathering, he used to hand out pages of advice, as well as articles about his life, all written by him on one of his many typewriters. Sometimes they also included xeroxed images of planes from WWII or the wedding picture that he put in the paper every year to mark his wedding anniversary. He put the same picture in every time. My grandmother, in the Dallas news, will always look 17 years old. Maybe she was happy about that; I don't know. Maybe she didn't want to face her 17 year old self. I never asked her. SInce this post is getting a little moody, I should stop now. I felt a little weird after eating fish and chips today. Maybe I should order a polar bear suit.